


Revulsion

by alexis (of_too_minds)



Category: Dark Angel
Genre: Gen, spoilers for 1.16 Pollo Loco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-14
Updated: 2014-02-14
Packaged: 2018-01-12 07:30:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1183542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/of_too_minds/pseuds/alexis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Max never thought she would see that look in his eyes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Revulsion

**Author's Note:**

> One of my first ever fanfics.

 

Max dropped silently through the skylight into the penthouse at Fogel Towers.  Sneaking up on Logan had become a favourite past-time with her.  He was so focused on his work that she could walk right up behind him and he never noticed she was there until she spoke.  It was fun.  Plus it gave her a chance to watch him to her heart’s content without making him uncomfortable with her scrutiny. 

Logan was in the office, as usual, only he wasn’t working at the computer.  He was staring at some photos.  He shuddered, and then stuffed the photos in a file folder and tossed it on the desk, as if he couldn’t bear to be in physical contact with them for a moment longer.  He got up and left the room.  She heard the bathroom door close, then heard him turn on the shower.  She’d never seen him react like that to anything his contacts brought in.  Curious to see what had bothered him so much he needed a shower after touching it, she crossed the room and flipped the folder cover open.  Inside were half a dozen photos of her and her siblings standing next to the dead body of a convict.  The man had been savagely beaten to death.  His killers stared at the camera blankly, no emotion showing on their faces.  The fact that they were just children made the murder scene that much more gruesome.  There was also a close-up of her, clearly showing the victim’s blood smeared on her face.  

Lydecker must have sent the photos.  No one else could have access to them, or have any reason to send them to Logan.  And he had shuddered in disgust, repulsed by the sight of her and what she had done.

Max fled the apartment.  She roamed the streets on her Ninja, remembering that night.  They had stalked him through the woods around Manticore, as silent as cats on the prowl.  Stopping him from reaching the perimeter fence was their objective.  If they didn’t accomplish it, the Colonel would have punished them.  It was just a mission, no different than any other.  But then they caught sight of the tattoo on his chest, mocking the Blue Lady, and it terrified them.  So they lashed out and beat him to death.  It wasn’t a clean death; it was brutal and primitive.  Maybe that was why Lydecker took their pictures that night.  He hadn’t been pleased by the ferocity of their attack.  But he had praised them for the success of the hunt, and told them their killer instinct was what would make them the best, once they learned to harness it.

She’d tried to forget about that night for 10 years.  It wasn’t the first time they’d killed someone, but it was the only time they’d lost control.  She was ashamed of it, so she locked it away in her memory.  Only now Logan knew, and she felt betrayed.  How many times had he told her it didn’t matter what she was?  Obviously it did matter.  He thought she was a cold-blooded killer and it disgusted him.  She was hurt and angry with him, but she was also angry at herself for caring what he thought of her, for allowing herself to care so much.

Max knew she would never be able to sleep so she didn’t bother going home that night.  Instead she went to the Needle and sat there for hours.  She actually arrived at work early for once.  Normal was so surprised to see her there he was speechless.  

Logan didn’t page her at all that day, which was unusual for him.  Max was relieved; she wasn’t ready to talk to him yet.  But she knew she couldn’t avoid him indefinitely.  It mattered to her what he thought of her, more than she ever thought possible.  She had to talk to him eventually, or else leave town.

The next day Max stopped by the penthouse.  It took all her courage to walk through the front door.  Logan was working at the computer, as usual.  “Hey,” she said from the doorway. 

Logan jumped at the sound of her voice.  “Max! What are you doing here?

“I needed to see you.  Can we talk?” 

“Uh, um, now isn’t a good time.  I’m in the middle of something.  In fact, uh, I was just about to head out.”

“Dressed like that?” Max asked incredulous.  Logan still had on the torn and dirty sweats he wore for his daily physio sessions with Bling.

Logan avoided meeting her eyes.  “Uh, well, it’s really important.  It can’t wait.  So I’ll catch you later, ok?”  He turned away, busied himself with some files lying on the desk.

Max stared at him, hurt and angry.  “You bastard,” she whispered.  

Logan looked at her, warily.  “Max…what’s wrong?”

“You’re actually afraid to be alone with me!”  

Logan looked guilty and nervous. “Of course I’m not afraid of you, Max,” he stammered.  But his eyes flickered towards the door, as if gauging the distance between himself and safety.  Max took two quick steps towards him.  Logan recoiled in his chair, clearly frightened by her sudden movement.  

 “You’re not a very good liar, Logan.  You’re afraid of me.  You’re afraid I’m going to lose control and kill you, just like we killed the convict in the photos Lydecker sent you.”  She stared at him, her eyes cold and hard.  “I can’t believe you didn’t figure it out until you saw the photos.  After all, you knew about the genetic engineering, the training, the brain-washing.  What else did you think it was for?  Manticore didn’t just want a better soldier, they wanted killing machines.  And Lydecker made certain we knew how to kill.  He took death row inmates out of over-crowded prisons and offered them a chance – make it past us to the perimeter fence and they were free men.  None of them ever got close.  And we did it because we… didn’t… have… a… choice.  Only you don’t care about that, do you Logan?  You’ve already judged us.  You hypocrite!  Stay away from me!”  Max stormed out of the penthouse, furious and hurt.

Logan paged her several times the next day, but Max just ignored it.  She was still too furious to talk to him.  That night Logan called the apartment while Max was in the shower.  Original Cindy didn’t know why Max wasn’t talking to Logan, but she knew they couldn’t work it out unless Max stopped avoiding him.  So she knocked on the bathroom door and held out the phone.  “It’s Logan, boo.”  Max stared at the phone for a few seconds before she took it, then disconnected the line without saying a word and handed it back to O.C.

Cindy cocked one eyebrow in surprise.  “Aiight, what gives.”  

Max shrugged.  “Nothing.”  

“Nothing my ass!  You’ve never hung up on Wheels before.”

Max looked at her, clearly angry and hurt.  “He found out about something I did a long time ago, when I was just a child.  I had to, I didn’t have a choice…and now he can barely look me in the eyes.  Well, screw him.” 

Two weeks later Max was hanging out at Crash, watching O.C. and Sketchy play pool, when she spotted Logan at the door.  He caught her eye and gave her a tentative smile.  She deliberately looked away, pretending she hadn’t seen him.  He walked over anyway.

“Max, I need to talk to you.”

“So?  I don’t need to talk to you.  I don’t want to be reminded of what a freak I am, not by you.  Just leave me alone.”  She turned away, took a sip of her beer.

“I’m sorry, Max.  I over-reacted.  I know you’re not like that.  You’re not a cold-blooded killer.  You’re so much more than your training, so much more than what Manticore wanted you to be.”

He placed a file folder on the table and pushed it towards her. “What is it?” she asked, suspicious.

“A peace offering.  I found Jondy.  Let me know if there’s anything else I can do.  Please.”  He walked away, knowing it would take time for her to trust him again.


End file.
